Saturday, July 24, 2010

What is worse?

I have been spending time today trying to decide what is worse...being lonely or dealing with a spouse out of work for almost a year? In 2008 my hubby lost his job due to the economy after being with his company for 14yrs. He was out of work for almost a year and during that time we managed to get by, we kept things normal for the kids and we were even able to keep them in their private school, continue with dance lessons and sports and keep food on the table and a roof over our heads...Lord knows I don't know how we did it but we did and for that I Thank God everyday!!

The Lord brought many job opportunities throughout the time the hubby was home. Within 2 weeks of being laid off he was being flown to Texas for and interview, then to D.C. and another to Norfolk, Va. He was actually hired for one only to have the company halt hiring including his before we could actually stick a sign in the yard. Finally the job he has now appeared practically out of nowhere. Between the initial phone call to set up an interview to the day he started work was at the most 3weeks!

I was left with a house to sell, 2 kids still in school, a part time job and a dog...I was ALONE but not really since I had family and friends all around me. The hubby would come in every couple of weeks since he was now living 6+ hours away but the time he was home was always a rush of seeing family and trying to spend time with the kids and me and every other activity that needed our attention for that weekend. I never got sad or down in the dumps b/c friends were right around the corner.

After 6+months of living life on the road and no SOLD sign in front of our house we decided it was time to just rent the house out and pack up and move. We found a nice house to rent until our old one sells, got the kids enrolled for the last 6weeks of the school year and started settling in and that is when the loneliness crept in.

It was slow at first because I was busy with unpacking boxes and setting up our new house to keep me occupied. Then, the more and more time I had on my hands the more and more I began to realize how lonely I am eventhough I have my husband and kids all under the same roof now, gone are the friends and other family who were always around when the hubby was out of town. As I mentioned before, Lucy was all about wanting to introduce me to people and hang out with her and then when we got here, silence, no invites and she started turning down all of mine... I am sad, lonely, frustrated, sometimes jealous of others when I hear that they have gone out with friends or been invited to parties,etc...b/c that used to be me, always going here or there with people and now I am stuck in a city where I have no one to do any of that with.

So today I figured out that loneliness, even with 3 other people and a dog under the same roof as me, is far worse than having my hubby out of work for almost a year...

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

A "friend"

Was not going to bring this up so soon after starting this blog but I just have to vent!! As I said before, we have recently moved away from all friends and family to an area where my husband and kids knew no one and I had A "dear" friend or someone I considered "a dear friend". For the sake of privacy we will call said friend, Lucy.

When Lucy found out we would be moving here she was thrilled and started making plans for us to hang out, she would introduce me to her "circle", we would do couple stuff with her and her husband, etc... Shortly after moving here I invited them over for Sunday lunch after church and was flatly turned down...upon speaking with her several days later she bragged about how they had gone out with So and So and her hubby and had this fabulous time,etc... I did not think much of it at it the time, figured it had already been planned well in advance.

As the last few months have gone on, I have invited her to do things as I explore my new city and surroundings and we have invited her and her hubby to do things as couples (they have no kids at the present time) and have invited them to our house,etc.. and EVERY time we or I have been shot down. Only later I find out that all those times they have turned me down, the next day they are off with all their "circle" going on GNO's and Boys Nites and picnics and bbq's, name it and then she turns right around and tells me all about them. We have not done one thing together since I moved here almost 5mths ago! She has passively introduced me to people, they have "friended" me on FB at her suggestion and they are the same people who she hangs out with on a daily basis as she is turning down my invites. For 4th of July we went to see the fireworks and she never came up and said one word to us until the night was almost over, did not invite us to sit with their crowd or anything. My family and I sat there knowing no one, watched the fireworks and left as they whooped it up back behind us somewhere.

I know NO ONE in my new city except for my hubby and kids, don't get me wrong, I love them dearly but I need some mommy time with other mommies,etc...!!!

I am not trying to sound petty but I just wonder what happened to the enthusiasm over my moving here? What happened to introducing me to her "circle"? What happened to the person who I thought was my friend and who was going to help me adjust to this move? So far I have not adjusted well. My husband and I talked about how we thought the kids would adjust prior to our move and I thought they would be the puddle of mess on the floor wanting to "go home" but instead it has been me who, although not kicking and screaming, it wanting to "go home", back to where my friends are, where my family is, where I know how to find a place w/o having to Google Map everything b/c Lord knows I am not calling Lucy anymore for directions or to find out how far something is from me!

When I do complain about how I know no one here and Lucy hears me or sees it on Twitter,etc...her response is "It took a couple of years for us to make friends here, give it time!" and I just want to tell her to "SHUT UP!!" and "I thought I did have a friend here, apparently I was wrong!"

Sunday, July 18, 2010

Shattered Dreams and Lost Crushes...

I have done my fairshare of moving over the years. The first move I ever made was when at the age of 15 my family moved away from the enchanted land of spanish moss covered oaks to the quaint little town filled with dogwood lined streets and oaks without low hanging spanish moss. I lived in or around that quaint little town for the last 20 yrs until this most recent move.

When it was first announced that my parents and sister and I were leaving the mossy oaks I did not handle it well at all! I had my life planned out at the age of 15. I was going to graduate from the same HS my parents graduated from, was going to marry the crush that I had had since the summer before the start of middle school (just recently saw a pic...he's held up well over the yrs) and raise our kids with the offspring of all the friends we grew up with in that small town and if I had to work then I was going to take a position in the family business alongside my dad and grandad. Then one January morning that dream crumbled as we pulled out of town w/ cars loaded down and all our belongings on semi heading, God Forbid...NORTH! Thankfully we were still going to be below the Mason Dixon Line!!

I missed my friends and family terribly, as well as my crush but the first day of my new high school I immediately made a ton of friends and continued to do so over the next 2 yrs. Once I got to college there were new friendships and ultimately I married one of those first friends I met after moving to the Land of Dogwoods.

My dreams changed after I married and had my kids to dreams of my kids graduating from the high school in the Land of Dogwoods, eventually we would buy one of the big historic homes on Main St USA and life would be GRAND! (I still keep in touch with many friends from the Land of Mossy Oaks..they were not replaced or forgotten and never will be) Little did I know that that dream too would be shattered and another move was in store me and my family...

Saturday, July 17, 2010

Names have been changed...

to protect MY identity. For this new blog I will not be able to call my children by the nicknames I already have for them since I want to remain a little more anonymous myself so from here on out my son shall be called "Jake Ryan" or "JR" b/c I grew up in the 80's on John Hughes films and I LOVED Jake Ryan, so now whenever I say "I LOVE Jake Ryan" I REALLY REALLY do!! I also chose "Jake Ryan" b/c I just don't picture him as a "Ferris"

The girl on the other hand has been a bit tougher to nail down a name for, her nickname now suits her SOOOOO well but she is WIDELY known by it and it would be a give away for sure if family or friends stumbled upon this blog...I am leaning toward something Truly Southern like Scarlet, believe me she could bring Scarlet O'Hara to her knees! My daughter is stubborn, opinionated, loud (at times) and demanding, but she can also be sweet like tea and prim and proper when the time calls for it, just like any good Southern girl should be!! My other choices are "Harper" after Harper Lee or "Scout" from her character in "To Kill a Mockingbird" b/c I love that movie as well. Decisions, Decisions...I will figure it out soon. After looking at the choices I have for her, it makes me want to "Jake Ryan" to "Atticus" or "Finch"

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Friday, July 16, 2010


Come find me on Facebook and friend me! I can't friend myself just yet, but will eventually!

Moving on...

A little about me and this blog…I am a SAHM of 2 great kids, was born in a land of Mossy Oaks and humidity and living in a land of Magnolias and humidity. For as long as I can remember I have been mesmerized by the beauty of a magnolia and love that there is one in my front yard and for as long as I can remember humidity has been my foe.

I have a great husband who was born a Blue Devil in the Tarheel state and has graciously converted to the Gator Nation for me. He puts up with WAY more from me than he should, I wouldn’t say I am High Maintenance…ok, that’s a lie, I would say that I am High Maintenance, moving on…that is what a lot of this blog will be about, MOVING ON…the same way I moved on from Mossy Oaks to Magnolias years ago.