Lately I have been reminded about a time in my life that I would rather forget...nothing tragic happened or anything like that, it was just a miserable time for my family. Back in 1992 right after I graduated high school my family moved from our "adopted" hometown in North Carolina to the Greensboro area for my dad to pastor a church there. He had been the Associate Pastor at a church for a couple years, we loved that church and the people and made many friends for life there and that is where I met my husband. But the opportunity arose for my dad to Pastor his own congregation and off we went to Greensboro. I immediately HATED the place and everything about it. All my friends were off at college and I was starting at Guilford Tech. in the college transfer program and did not know a soul on the entire campus. As time went on we began to realize there were major issues within the church too that had not been revealed to my dad in all his talks with the Deacons and search committee members. Needless to say my entire family began to hate being in Greensboro. Every chance I got I was on the road to go back and see friends on weekends. Finally after 8mths the Lord provided a new church for my dad to Pastor right back in our adopted hometown. I have been thinking a lot of those 8mths (seemed like 8yrs with all that went on during that time) over the last week as we were back in NC for Spring Break. My husband along with Moxie and Sport have been in this current city almost 13mths. While I have not hated being here and neither have the kids or hubs we have had a lot of struggles and mountains to climb. Almost every month there has been a job opportunity that comes knocking either from NC or Va and each month nothing else becomes of those opportunities, just a lot of teasing and then away it goes. We have been back to NC several times over the last 13 mths and although I don't feel the "pull" to go back it is nice to be there and hard to leave when the time comes. This past week we were there for Spring Break and out of the blue hubs got a call about an opening with a company that was started by a former co-worker of his who has gone on to hire several other former co-workers. So our trip to see family and friends turned into a trip for a job interview as well. It is a great opportunity and it is with people he has worked with before so he is comfortable with them all, it would get us back to where our family and friends are and it would get our kids back into their former school (fingers crossed). The idea of moving across state lines again is already tiring me out and he doesn't have the job yet, LOL. Nothing may come of this but if it does they want to get started quickly so I will probably be back to single parenting it for at least a month or 2. Hoping we hear something today or tomorrow so I know if we going home for good.
Who knew leading a secret blogger life could be so hard!? I have definately slacked off in this life...the holidays have come and gone and we are fastly approaching spring with summer right on it's heels and my blog has not been updated since September!!!
Here is some of this stuff we have been up to since my last post: tennis ended, baseball ended, a nephew was born, Halloween, our first Thanksgiving away from family, found out our landlord is selling the house we signed a 2 yr lease on so we have to move, reconciled with mother in law just in time to get snowed in at her house in NC for Christmas, came home to more snow in the South that basically shut the place down for a week,Moxie shot a commercial and a print ad,got a lowball offer on our NC house, did not sell the house, Sport got to work with Jennifer Garner, school started back,a new niece was born,found out our landlord has not been paying the mortgage on this rental so they are facing foreclosure,Valentine's, baseball started back, took a trip to the Music City, trying to find a new house here in the South, tennis is getting ready to start back, still trying to sell the NC house, throw in strep throat, stomach bug and nasty colds and that brings us here at St Patty's Day!
Looking for a little Luck 'O the Irish today and that we will get some showings on our NC house that lead to a sale!! With all our housing issues the last few months we so do not want to rent our NC house again and we don't want to rent here in the South and risk facing the same situation again with a landlord losing the home. If we can hurry up and sell our NC house then we can just buy something here.
Looking forward to Spring Break, I get to see my niece and nephew, WOOT WOOT and we get to meet our new niece who was born in Jan to my brother in law and his wife.
Bring on Spring! I promise to get this blog back on track!!
unsolicited advice!! As I have said thing have not been great since moving here. I am lonely for friends and adult time and missing my GNO's back home. My sister just had her 2nd baby and I am losing my mind not being able to see him in person until next month and I desperately need some time with my niece, Sassy!!
Well, I tweeted something on my personal Twitter page last week about how I was "tired of being the new people in town that no one wanted to get to know" because that is truly how it feels. We go to church with several people who have requested to follow me on Twitter and one of them responded to me saying that I had to be the one to get out there and get to know people. This comment from her made me quite mad. First off, she has made no effort in getting to know me or spend any time talking to me but yet she feels like I need to be the one to put myself out there? Yes, I know I could make a little more of an effort but I have been hurt one too many times in the past and when you are in a new city where you know nobody it would be nice if at least one person would put forth the effort to get to know me. I have always, back home, taken and effort to put myself out there to someone new at church or the kids school shouldn't it be time for someone to see me struggling and put forth an effort for me?
I am still hurt by the "friend" here who has all but disappeared. I was at Bible Study last week, sitting at the table behind her, and she called me that afternoon and left a message about me missing Bible Study, REALLY?! everyone else there saw me! Her message was all rambling like she was trying to find something to say in a forced phone call to my voice mail.
I just want to go home! Back to where I have friends, the kids had an awesome school, where my family is...but I don't see that happening any time soon!
I guess I should not be too surprised of the news I got last night, there have been some "signs" here and there recently and with my powerful sense of discernment (lol) I knew something was up with my BFF and her family.
My BFF and I have known each other since we were 8 yrs old. We looked soooo much alike when we were kids that people thought we were related. She is orignally from NC and moved to Fl, I am originally from Fl and moved to NC...her family moved back to NC shortly after mine moved there and we ended up at college together, lived in the same house together, were bridesmaids in each other's weddings, my 2 kids and her first 2 are close in age (she had 4 more for a total of 6), the lists can go on and on...
One of the things I loved about moving down here to the Land of Mossy Oaks and Magnolias is that instead of being 41/2 hrs away from her and her family we are now 2 hrs away so we would be able to get together more often. Well, we better hurry up and do that getting together because last night she informed me that they (all 8 of them) are selling everything and her hubby is quitting his job and they are moving to AFRICA!!! What the!?
They have felt the call into full time missions and will be working with a Bible translating company in Africa, more than likely Nairobi,Kenya. I am so happy for their decision but I am sad that my friend, my sister, will be sooo far away! You can bet that I will be planning a BIG SOUTHERN FRIED send off for them before they leave and I am already putting my pennies to the side so I can visit Africa in the next couple of yrs.
Since we have moved I have dreaded the weekends because that is when I seem to be the most lonely, even with kids running around and a husband at home but this weekend was different. We had a family member in town this weekend and it was nice to have them here and show them around a little bit in the short time they were here.
It is looking like this coming weekend will help me keep my mind off the loneliness too as I have an old friend coming through town that I cannot wait to catch up with!! As long as people keep passing through town I will be ok, I can keep myself busy with kids and work and housework,etc...during the week just keep the pop in visits coming during the weekends!!
I have been spending time today trying to decide what is worse...being lonely or dealing with a spouse out of work for almost a year? In 2008 my hubby lost his job due to the economy after being with his company for 14yrs. He was out of work for almost a year and during that time we managed to get by, we kept things normal for the kids and we were even able to keep them in their private school, continue with dance lessons and sports and keep food on the table and a roof over our heads...Lord knows I don't know how we did it but we did and for that I Thank God everyday!!
The Lord brought many job opportunities throughout the time the hubby was home. Within 2 weeks of being laid off he was being flown to Texas for and interview, then to D.C. and another to Norfolk, Va. He was actually hired for one only to have the company halt hiring including his before we could actually stick a sign in the yard. Finally the job he has now appeared practically out of nowhere. Between the initial phone call to set up an interview to the day he started work was at the most 3weeks!
I was left with a house to sell, 2 kids still in school, a part time job and a dog...I was ALONE but not really since I had family and friends all around me. The hubby would come in every couple of weeks since he was now living 6+ hours away but the time he was home was always a rush of seeing family and trying to spend time with the kids and me and every other activity that needed our attention for that weekend. I never got sad or down in the dumps b/c friends were right around the corner.
After 6+months of living life on the road and no SOLD sign in front of our house we decided it was time to just rent the house out and pack up and move. We found a nice house to rent until our old one sells, got the kids enrolled for the last 6weeks of the school year and started settling in and that is when the loneliness crept in.
It was slow at first because I was busy with unpacking boxes and setting up our new house to keep me occupied. Then, the more and more time I had on my hands the more and more I began to realize how lonely I am eventhough I have my husband and kids all under the same roof now, gone are the friends and other family who were always around when the hubby was out of town. As I mentioned before, Lucy was all about wanting to introduce me to people and hang out with her and then when we got here, silence, no invites and she started turning down all of mine... I am sad, lonely, frustrated, sometimes jealous of others when I hear that they have gone out with friends or been invited to parties,etc...b/c that used to be me, always going here or there with people and now I am stuck in a city where I have no one to do any of that with.
So today I figured out that loneliness, even with 3 other people and a dog under the same roof as me, is far worse than having my hubby out of work for almost a year...
Was not going to bring this up so soon after starting this blog but I just have to vent!! As I said before, we have recently moved away from all friends and family to an area where my husband and kids knew no one and I had A "dear" friend or someone I considered "a dear friend". For the sake of privacy we will call said friend, Lucy.
When Lucy found out we would be moving here she was thrilled and started making plans for us to hang out, she would introduce me to her "circle", we would do couple stuff with her and her husband, etc... Shortly after moving here I invited them over for Sunday lunch after church and was flatly turned down...upon speaking with her several days later she bragged about how they had gone out with So and So and her hubby and had this fabulous time,etc... I did not think much of it at it the time, figured it had already been planned well in advance.
As the last few months have gone on, I have invited her to do things as I explore my new city and surroundings and we have invited her and her hubby to do things as couples (they have no kids at the present time) and have invited them to our house,etc.. and EVERY time we or I have been shot down. Only later I find out that all those times they have turned me down, the next day they are off with all their "circle" going on GNO's and Boys Nites and picnics and bbq's, ballgames...you name it and then she turns right around and tells me all about them. We have not done one thing together since I moved here almost 5mths ago! She has passively introduced me to people, they have "friended" me on FB at her suggestion and they are the same people who she hangs out with on a daily basis as she is turning down my invites. For 4th of July we went to see the fireworks and she never came up and said one word to us until the night was almost over, did not invite us to sit with their crowd or anything. My family and I sat there knowing no one, watched the fireworks and left as they whooped it up back behind us somewhere.
I know NO ONE in my new city except for my hubby and kids, don't get me wrong, I love them dearly but I need some mommy time with other mommies,etc...!!!
I am not trying to sound petty but I just wonder what happened to the enthusiasm over my moving here? What happened to introducing me to her "circle"? What happened to the person who I thought was my friend and who was going to help me adjust to this move? So far I have not adjusted well. My husband and I talked about how we thought the kids would adjust prior to our move and I thought they would be the puddle of mess on the floor wanting to "go home" but instead it has been me who, although not kicking and screaming, it wanting to "go home", back to where my friends are, where my family is, where I know how to find a place w/o having to Google Map everything b/c Lord knows I am not calling Lucy anymore for directions or to find out how far something is from me!
When I do complain about how I know no one here and Lucy hears me or sees it on Twitter,etc...her response is "It took a couple of years for us to make friends here, give it time!" and I just want to tell her to "SHUT UP!!" and "I thought I did have a friend here, apparently I was wrong!"